Percakapan Singkat

"Apa Kabar?"
"Alhamdulillah sehat, anda sendiri?"
"Alhamdulillah.."

Dua kata berjuta makna. Untukku, 'Apa' selalu menjadi kata tanya yang sangat tak sabaran. Enggan menanti barang satu detik pun. Tak ingin narasi panjang untuk memuaskan si 'Apa'. Hanya cukup dengan beberapa kata yang terangkai dalam sebuah kalimat jelas, pasti, dan ampuh. 'Apa' selalu meminta jawaban yang berbentuk spontanitas dari pada jawaban dengan sisipan jeda dan pikir panjang. Basi rasanya. Yang pasti, di dalam 'Apa', selalu terdapat tanda tanya besar dari si empu yang memakainya. Selalu terselip teka-teki panjang dalam otaknya. Dan perasaan resah yang mendalam akan penantian sebuah jawaban. 

Sedangkan 'Kabar', kata yang sarat dengan rasa.  Terkadang ia diselimuti dengan cemas, namun lebih banyak menyiratkan rindu, dan juga ungkapan basa-basi. Untukku? seringkali aku memakainya untuk berbasa-basi dalam memulai percakapan singkat. Namun yang aku suka adalah diferensiasi subjek nya. Ia akan menjadi basa-basi saat kamu terjebak dalam situasi yang tidak direncanakan, atau saat kamu memiliki kepentingan yang mengharuskanmu memulai percakapan dengan seseorang. Namun ia kadang bisa menjadi cemas saat kamu sebetulnya sudah sedikitnya paham dengan kondisi yang ada. Lalu, ia akan menjadi rindu saat kamu akhirnya mengalah pada ego, dan memberanikan diri dengan mengesampingkan segala imajinasi tentang kemungkinan-kemungkinan terburuk, untuk sekedar bertanya. 

Dua kata, untukku, jika aku bertanya kabarmu.. Mungkin aku sedang berbasa-basi, mungkin aku sedang cemas, atau.. mungkin saja itu, rindu.

#161217 #Dellayangmenungguterlelap

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Time doesn't heal

Remember what people tried to say when we were broken? It's okay, time will heal every wound you got.
But I think, time doesn't heal anything. Perhaps, time does a good job in making memories faded, time can make you forget. However, forget doesn't mean heals. Forget means, your brain agrees to your will of erasing the moment. In fact, you never heal. You just pretending to be okay and say that 'that's all in the past'. Everyone knows it. But once you remember, you will realize that time doesn't heal. Then, what is the best thing you can do is making a deal with yourself. Don't wait for other people to open up your hearts and helps you out. But being a superman for yourself who would depend on his own hands to set your heart free is better. You heal yourself, even it needs time. But time doesn't heal anything when you don't want to be healed. 

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Marhaban Yaa Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh..

Alhamdulillah Wa Syukurillah!

Ramadhan is coming! a month with full of blessings, rewards, and chances to upgrade our faith and to take steps of getting closer to Allah. How do you feel about Ramadhan? I wanna know! tell me tell me.

What I like from this month? I love to see people cheerily do the-dawn-to-dusk-fasting together, cause it makes me feel stronger. It reminds me of being suffering like those who less fortunate out there. And it reminds us to be always grateful of having what we got until now. Alhamdulillah

According to health researches, fasting from dawn-to-dusk for a month is very healthy. It seen as an exercise in a self-restraint where physically and spiritually detoxify by kicking impulses like eating midday snack, smoking, drinking coffee or tea, etc. 

Ramadhan always brings me new hopes. I hope I could be a better person, I hope Allah will forgive all my bad (because I do realize that my past was so awful), I hope I can find what I really want to be, I hope I can choose a path where Allah allows me to do, I hope I can make my mom and my dad proud of me, makes them happier, and no more grumbling for sure, hehe. I hope I'll find my happiness soon, I hope I will never hurt people's heart again, I hope I can draw a big smile in the face of every people I love most, again and over again. I hope I can be someone who is able to lighten up other people's life. I hope I can be someone who is able to inspire people and to give more moree and moreee. I hopee....... (too many!)

However, Ramadhan is not only about to avoid drinks and food during the day, but it also about not to engage with personal bad desires! Like gossiping, cursing, fighting, and many more!

As a muslims, I do feel my self that it is hard to implement the real virtue of Ramadhan. Yet, have faith! strong intentions will bring good things. Trust Allah..

This one pillar of Islam is delightful. Allah always knows how to elevating the degree of his people who believe. Inshaallah, we'll be always included to the people he protects, aminn

well, happy Ramadhan everyone! May our worship will be blessed by Allah.. 

Just remember, Ramadhan is a great chance to break bad habits, not putting them on pause.

Good night, everyone.
wassalamualaikum :)

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Baskom butut Squad

 Baskom Butut Squad!

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

I had missed most of the days in April, I know. But sorry to say that this month is the most hectic month, and i had to go to several places in a glance. Will you forgive me, bloggie? Hihiii

This month is a special month for my most-special-persons-in-my-life. And in this rare occasion, I’d like to introduce my dearest friends who had a huge impact in my life and I never imagine how my school life would like without them. These people gathered inside a house named Baskom Butut (A house with full of joy, laughter, and warmness). So, Hallo, Baskom Butut Squad!

First, let me tell you about the one and only girl in this house. dr.Sussy Listiarsasih, or I used to call her teh Ncus. She was the most dependable one who will take care of the house (from payment things, cleaning, and sometimes cooking). This pretty girl is a doctor! The first time I met her was at pool inside our university, where at that time her brother (who was by chance learnt in the same major with me) celebrated his birthday. All his classmates were trying to throw him to the pool! Hahahaa. And teh Ncus showed up! “What a pretty!” That was my first impression for her. And it continued until the night of that day. I walked to the lobby, waited for her brother and met her again who brought a cake with her boyfriend. (And you know? I knew that boyfriend of hers! but now her x bf) Hahahaa.

The second meeting, was when Ardi (another baskom butut squad) invited me to come along with him to go to West Lake. He said that he will join teteh’s celebration for her bachelor graduation. Well, I went with him and when we arrived, I realized that there was a big family there!! And teteh was soooo pretty in her gold dress! I remember that we took a picture together, and met her mom, her dad, and her little sister for the first time. It was really nice, because since that time I didin’t know how could I keep getting along with her until now. And yes!!! This month is a big day for her. She got married on 24th of April 2017 with her beloved one for sure! A Lingga. What a lucky bride and groom! And again! Teteh never failed to be pretty in her white traditional lace blouse and white-pink wedding gown! I believe that it’s very relieved to have our name and our beloved one written on the same line of destiny called Lauh Mahfuzh. Congratulation teh! Eventhough I didn’t get to create many pictures with you, but you know for sure that I’m happy for you, right?

An independent, nice, warmhearted, and loving girl like you must be happy forever! Thank you for our times teh. Thank you for always staying by my side, for always being there when the things could break me down, and choosing to be my best listener instead! I love you tetehh to the moon and back! Let me know if someone hurt you, I will punch them in the face !!!!! :)

Let’s meet with our second one! His name is Muhammad Ghozy Abdussalam. Just call him A oo! He is the coolest man you will see at the first sight. But then you will know that he is the most fragile man ever! It’s always been a funny thing if I tell you our first meeting story. He will be mad and maybe pinch me until my skin is peeling off? Iuuuhhh *scary. Hmm well, what I think about him? I can’t deny that he is so smart and diligent. But I’ve ever heard from his friends who took the same class with him that he was a bit stingy especially when it came to the examination time. Some of them will asked him things, but he will say ‘I haven’t study yet”. Yet in the end, he always got a good score. Hahaa (don’t get mad A oo, pleaseee). Alsooo, he is super funny. I don’t know exactly why, but every jokes that he brought always blew my laugh. We used to have a long chatting, and along with Audit, in every English class (PPB), three of us will sit together and point each other to answer Mr.Reko's questions. Hahaaa. And he is also a severe bully, really likes and enjoy to intimidate someone weaker like me. But, If he got turn to be bullied, he will immediately pouted. How unfair, right? Wleeeeeee.  He used to be a playboy, perhaps. Yet however do you know what’s even happier? Now, he is a daddy wanna be! He got married in last December and currently, his wife is pregnant for almost 4 months. Please everyone gives your du’as for my friend’s wife to be always healthy and everything will run smoothly as they planned. Happy to hear that, isn’t it? Even with that fragile and funny personality, he still a responsible man. And I know you will be a good father A oo! J

Our third personil’s name is Ardi Luthfi Kautsar, or Ardi. When you meet him, you will directly guess that he likes eating very much. Yes! That’s correct, haha. But you need to know him closer and he will serve you many tasty foods! Yeayy!. Our first meeting was at university orientation. He ever said that he had a bad impression when he met me for the first time. Omg! Am I that ugly? Or am I that scary? Huhuuu. That was very rude way of you to greet people right? Hehee. We were at the same class since the first semester until third semester. And we gathered again at our master class, right?. All I know about him, he is very playful, very Sundanese (remember when everyone was always making fun of sundanese people by saying “a lot op feofle” because they were inspired from you??) Hahaaaa. To be honest, it is normal for sundanese people who barely use ‘F’ in their daily conversation. But we had improved a lot! Right, ardi? We had been fully qualified for being a Sundanese British native, wkwkwkk. Also, he is a nice man and I used to asked him for helps, and he will try his best to help! Thank you di, I learnt to cook from him too even I often got scolded when I did a wrong step in cooking. He was such a main chef in baskom butut before teteh and others.

Last month, he bravely tied a commitment with his girlfriend and inshaallah will celebrate the wedding in the last month of this year. Eh? Or next year? I’m not sure but whenever it is, I will always cheer and support you both for your happiness. May Allah always give you guys his blessings until the Day and so on, amiinn. J

Next is the only Thailand man in Baskom Butut Squad. His name is Mushrifudeen but you can call him Udin. He was a diligent student. Can you imagine if you come from another country and you live in Indonesia where the language is not always understandable even if you have understand for a bit?. Survival is for the fittest. I think he was one of the example on it. Not all literatures that we found at university used English version. I thought Udin has to translate it back and forth until he could do his tasks or his thesis, perhaps. And adapted in foreign country was not easy at first. So, i think he already used to struggle and adapt with the situation, especially in the house where most of personil are Sundanese! Hahaaa So, he learnt a bit about Sundanese language too (even for a bad one). If you meet him, you will find that he has calm and friendly personality. Sometimes he turned to be innocent man where the men sorround him were brutal, hahaha. Because he came from Thailand, I always blabbered unclear things as long as it sounds like Thailand accent. Maybe that was because an impact from ‘crazy little things called love’ movie, where Mario Maurer (one Thai actor that I like) played in that movie. Udin will only raise his eyebrows like he was saying “What are you trying to say, della??” Hahahahahaaa.

Currently, he is working in Malaysia after finished his master degree in Yogyakarta. I haven’t heard anything again from him. But I hope Udin will always fine wherever he is, amin.

And the forth man in Baskom Butut Squad is Fahri Rizal. Let’s call him Fahri. You may say that he is Ghozy’s playmates? If you find them together, I couldn’t guarantee that they are 100% real men. Haha. It was always funny to see them, though. I can say that both of Fahri and Ghozy used to utilize their ‘good-looking’ weapon to fool the girls? (maybe). But I know everything has changed, for sure. You guys had improved so much and had matured enough to take a decision, correct?. Just like other, fahri also very diligent. He is smart eventhough at class some people often got annoyed by him because he usually asked too many questions to the lecturer and made the time felt much longer than it should be. Wkwkwkk. That’s okay actually, it just a nature of him.

Next month! He will follow teh Ncus’s step to tie the knot with a girl that he wishes will become his longlast partner in dunya and akhirat, amiiinn. I wish the best for you Fahri! May Allah always give you an ease. Inshaallah.

Next, I have Gesta F Nurbiansyah, or just call it A biyan. I forgot when was our first meeting a? Could you help me answer that? Haha, whatever! This is another alien man who was very chill and often bullied me wherever and whenever we met. You guys can’t stop him when he started to bully someone. The more you try to respond him, the more you feel that you bite your own heart. Hahaaa. So, when he tried to bully you, just shut your mouth, ignore him and keep silent until you pushed his feeling to the corner because no one cares! Or you can put a sallen expression until he felt guilty. (kidding A!). He is an easy-going person, maybe because he used to go to imigration office back and forth from our university (And it almost everyday) as part of his works, that made him easy-going? Hehee, I'm not sure. He is also funny! and he was the one who may used his power to influence the boss in IRO (from what he said, isn't he so sweet?) and supported me until I could make it! (stepped European land!!). All thanks to you a! You are T.O.P! Currently, he is studying in Turkiye! He left his beloved one just like Rangga who left Cinta behind. Perhaps he believes that if they are meant to be together, love will always find its way back. *Tsaaaaahhh (Even after hundreds of full moon?). Aha! I like one of Turkish actor named Sercan Cayoglu a! Please if it possible, make to meet him for me. And ask him to make a video by saying my name and tell him that I'm a big fan of him from Indonesia, wkwkwk ! okay a?
Anyway, goodluck for your study a! If you decide to move to Turkish girl, I just want to suggest you to clear the things with the girl you left kindly, don't be ever make yourself regret! All the best for you a biyaannn! See you again :)

Hallo Satrio Pringgo Sejati! One of the most impressive friends of mine. He always determined in his each goals. Even he is a bit sensitive tough. So, if you meet him, please do talk to him softly. Don’t ever say something harshly or he will pout straightaway and he won’t like you in the end. In his point of view, the one and only perfect girl who could talk and understand him perfectly is his gf! He has a clever, calm, and mature image, but you couldn’t absolutely imagine how spoiled and childish he was in front of his girlfriend. I remember the time when he was sick and by chance I came to Baskom Butut house and saw him lying in front of TV weakly. I felt pity and asked him if he needed something. Yet, he just shaked his head and said “No, I’m okay thank you, eya”. I didn’t believe him, for sure. I got persistent and I kept asking him for what he needed with a higher tone that in the end made him felt resentful instead. Hehee. But when his softly-wifey-to-be came, he became another alien whom I didn’t know and didn’t want to know, completely changing! Spoiled and childish! Wleee, haha. However, he cares a lot about his friends, he never hesitate to try something new. (Helped a market seller by buying all the shoes and sell it again with a lower cost, his head was full of creativity to create and sell things from his experiment, he loves to involve in many events!). Then, he is the best one to find when you need good movie references!! Yeay. Currently he is working at university, and from what I heard from our last meeting, he is planning to continue his study (doctoral program)! Waaawww, bismillah Sat! Inshaallah Allah will make it easier for every good intention!

Let’s meet our junior one! Ergi Fathurrahman. The most creative person i’ve ever met! You will appraise him as very manageable person since the first time you meet him. He planned his future very well rather than me. The courage that he had was always inspiring. He is a cousin from a friend of mine. The first time I met him was at his previous rented house in Yogyakarta. He was in the same major with me and others. A year behind me but always feels like a year ahead of me. Probably because he is more mature than me? Oh no. But the fact shows it. I was the one who always whining and coming to him for unproductive chatting, wkwkwkk. However, it really nice to having someone like him in the circle of your school life. Listen to what will he become was always exciting, he will keep blabbing on this and that explaining the way he will do in reaching his dreams. Also, he was very critical in criticizing things. Became a good partner for his cousin inside the excitement of watching football match and arguing things. I remember when it got me sick hearing both of them inside the car argued on the two of Presidential candidate of Indonesia. One of them supported Jokowi, and the other one gave his voice for Prabowo. Hffftttt, let's say that you felt like in the middle of the real Presidential debate. Hahaa. Well, currently he is in the middle of his effort in pursuing his dream. I wish you bunch of luck A! May Allah always showering you by his blessings and loves! Aminn :)  

Last but not least. let me introduce someone that always made my day! Dwi Auditya Muttaqin, or Audit, or Adit, whatever. Honestly, I can't really find the words to explain about him, but I'll try. Hmm, anyone who knew him would know that he is full of kindness. He loves to honoring guests and friends. Makes everyone comfortable being with him. Though he often becomes forgetful (easy to forget something, both important or less). He is good at maintaining relationship with people, and yes! easily having a long chit chat with strangers too. It means that he's friendly to everyone like he doesn't have any insecurities in him. Well, everyone has it for sure, but insecurity is something we may not notice. So, I was always wondering what kind of insecurities he had? Hehe. 

He is super busy person and hard worker, I know. When you are with him, you will find that his phone will never stop ringing. There was always be something that he needs to take care about. Hffftt.. And be careful, he acted reckless sometimes, and made everyone worries and panic so sudden! I think he has his half introvert personality.  He's not good at expressing his true feeling and doesn't like to talk about his personal life too much. Oya! He loves that football team so much! Persib and Madrid. You can't disturb him, even for a while when the match started. So, if you meet him, you know how to get along with him, right? :)

We were classmate just like others. But I didn't know exactly when we started getting close?. All I know, we are very different in many ways. But I hope that what will make us stronger. He taught me things, opened my eyes to not to be weak among my doubts, insecurities, and skepticism inside society's point of view. He was chill and mean sometimes because what he said always got me through to the core. Hahaaa. It hurts me like nuts but I know I always learn something and getting wiser. And I realized I should be thankful for it. Today is his day! I can't congratulate him in the face, but I know Allah will always deliver all my prays. Barakallah fiik, ujang! I hope you will always be there with full of healthy, happiness, affections, and blessings. May Allah always ease your each and every steps in reaching your dreams. And you always surrounded by people that make your laugh louder, your smile bigger, your faith stronger, and your life better, Aminn InsyaAllah! :)    

  

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313

Assalamualaikum everyone!

         I guess the last day in March will end perfectly, but it seems most of us are feeling hampered by the situation. While I'm trying to make my self busy, my country turned out to be busy too. This morning, I saw the news and I didn't know how to react. Sympathy? Passionate? Or sad?

          I know exactly that religion issue is always be a crucial, holy, and very sensitive. Especially when we try to hook it with Politics. Both of politics and religion played an important role in running the state. No wonder if the state only walks straight for its desire without politics and religion, everything else is absolutely a distraction.

         My country, Indonesia is one of places where diversity is a possible thing to be realized through the presence of integrity, tolerance, trust, and will to protect each other. Hence, differences are not something to be feared, shunned, or made obvious. Otherwise, the difference must be something strengthening, and escalating our mindset.

         Whatever, now I'm talking about the demonstration that just happened today. About hundred Muslim people rallied their will to gather in Istiqlal Mosque, Jakarta then walked with flocks to the President Palace. This incident actually not happened for the first time. It's like a continuation from 411 and 212 peace action in 2016. The demonstration was substantively led to Mr Ahok (Current Jakarta's governor) case, again. As we might already knew. He is a suspect for Islam blasphemy case, but he still served as a governor. The humiliation that he did over Al-maidah letter verse 51 in Al-qur'an was definitely wrong and it breaks every Muslim people's heart for sure. Hence, he got many disrespectful trait, mockery, and disappointment from some of Muslim society.

         However, what the people demand through this demontration was addressed to our President, Mr Jokowi. There were two things that the demonstrants asked. First is to humbly asked Mr Jokowi to ofiicially knock off his position as Jakarta governor. Then second is to fasten the process of Mr Ahok punishment. Honestly, it breaks my heart too watching some Muslim people held the demonstration (again) even perhaps they called it as a peace action. You know, it just feels fear, anxious, afraid of something bad that might happened, worried of making the problem even bigger and even create the rift among religious societies. 

Yet, they still did it. 

          In my point, it is better for those who followed demonstration to take another way. Serious-blowing-conversation through dialogs might be a better option for the people to spill out the demands and aspirations. And by seeing this recurring actions, Mr President also needs to make a decision by considering the people demand. If the people have to wait, explain why and give understanding. If Mr Ahok can't be punished, explain again why with clear elucidation. 

         Even personally, i know it might be hard to make Mr Ahok step down from his position because his another status as a suspect hasn't be a compelling reason unless the penalty from the court has been officially imposed. Yet, what I haven't understand yet is the rationality and its legal perspective on blasphemy case. If it's so wrong, then follow-up with an appropriate legal and punishment more sprightly and objectively. If it's not so wrong, explain. Because some people don't understand, what they know is only the fact that Mr Ahok has done something inappropriate that hurts most of Muslim's heart.
well, i hope this case can find its ending soon. I trust my country and its responsible government workers, so show us the best, give us the fairest solution that could calm people's heart.

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Selamat malam, Tuan

Selamat malam, tuan.
Entah kan kutunjukkan pada siapa.
Entah pada kamu, atau bukan.
Sebab aku pun tak pasti.
Kamu masih menjadi rahasia-Nya.

Selamat malam, tuan.
Siapapun engkau, kuharap takkan pernah berhenti mendoakanku.
Sebab aku pun berlaku sama disini.
Semoga engkau selalu dalam lindungannya.
Hingga satu masa kita dipertemukan.

Selamat malam, tuan.
Setiap hari, kan ku songsong agar jadi lebih baik.
Agar tak ada lagi rasa sesal.
Masa laluku mungkin tak dapat kuubah, begitu adanya.
Namun tentu, masa depanku takkan kubiarkan berjalan tanpa ridho dari-Nya.

Selamat malam, tuan.
Aku memang jauh dari sempurna.
Namun aku tak boleh berdiam diri saja, melewatkan segala usaha untuk sempurna.
Setidaknya, untuk membuat ibadahku sempurna.

Selamat malam, tuan.
Jika aku datang terlambat, tunggu aku sebentar lagi.
Sebab berbenah diri dan hati tak selalu mudah.
Namun aku pasti akan berusaha berlari.
Mengejar langkah tuan agar dapat beriringan.

Selamat malam, tuan.
Aku tak perlu romansa bak jutaan pasangan diluar sana.
Tak perlu pula rentetan kata penuh harap namun tak pasti.
Aku hanya ingin berbagi payung, sudikah?
Agar hujan tak buat terlalu basah, dan tetap teduh saat terik mentari datang terlalu pekat.
Agar sedih tak berlebih pun bahagia tak jadi takabur.

Selamat malam, tuan.
Ahhh.. Aku bicara terlalu banyak.
Esok, semoga masih menjadi milikku.
Sebab aku kadang terlupa akan jodoh yang pasti datang bila selalu memikirkan tuan.
Kematian.

Selamat malam, tuan.
Aku sungguh berharap kita dapat bertatap muka, merajut kisah sampai beruban.
Berdoalah, percayalah, Ia sudah membuat skenario terbaik untukku dan tuan, inshaallah.

Selamat malam, tuan.

#mysaturdaynightbelike
#happywriting

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Adulthood

Have you ever felt like the world was turning away? I think all adults must have felt it even for once.

And I wonder why adults are given this kind of sense, while I think the fairytale and its happiness-ever-after was real.

However, everyone who on the same age like me is currently stepping on this phase. Welcome to adulthood! The time of life when someone has regarded as independent, mature, and brave enough to take responsibility on every actions that he/she does. Sounds creepy but this is real.

Unlike childhood, having faith on the fairytale, huge castle, prince charming white horse, magic, pixy dust and things were allowed. Shaped those lies inside little me made me grows with that faith. And maybe not only me. I was wondering what my future looks like? Will it bloom like a gigantic rose? or will it just stay the same like the grass?

We do choose our faith. But sometimes faith becomes a funny thing. It turns up when you don't expect anything, but turns you down when you really expect a thing. And it applies to people for sure. Once in a while, people will surprise you even people also can take your breath away.. This is how adulthood works. 

The pain you feel, the ignorance you get, the pressure you bear are the color to your life. We build the future in a real life, not a future in the fairytale. Even those fairy tale might affect people when they grew up, but in adulthood, one day you'll realize that fairy tale maybe slightly different than you dreamed of. It may not a castle or a prince charming with his white horse, and it's not important to be happy ever-after. The thing that we will realize  is to do the best in every corner of our lives. 

It might hard to make everyone happy, because everything you do will be judged. Therefore, adulthood teachs you how to do everything that will ease your heart with those responsibility things. If you find that life is hard already, why do we bring more troubledown on ourselves by thinking unnecessary things?

Maybe because we just like the pain? or we just couldn't feel real? 

That is why, like what benjamin franklin meant, that knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and that even the biggest failure, the worst, the most intractable mistake, the beast is the hell out of never trying!

I should finally understand that even my fairytale was a lie, my reality must be greater even with a thousand burdens, obstacles, pains, and complaints. Because you know what, we have Allah, and when we do, everything will be easier, InshaAllah..

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